Identity Part 3: Gender (Female, duh!)

     Female ... Duh! Although in this house that is nothing to snicker at! By all means, I do not claim to be a girly-girl. On the other hand, my life is full of sports (practices, games, watching sports on TV etc.), dirt, fighting, superheros, a sea of blue and any and all boy stuff. So much so I have to remind myself I do enjoy painting my nails, attempting to 'dress up' occasionally, wear make-up (which usually consist of eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss) and every once in awhile a hang out with another female! I think for all females this is important, go out with a sister, mom, friend, church group etc. every once in awhile.
     This just happens to be one of those rare occasions. My friend and I our celebrating our birthdays with a GNO (Girls Night Out)! So don't think this happens often. But to ensure it happens more often than not, we have made a pact to have a GNO once a month. Our birthdays are months apart, but due to weather and other schedule conflicts we are combining them into one night with a pedicure and a nice dinner (and of course going to stores to see what we can find that we might not get to do with kiddos).

     First picture is of our pedicures, matching colors of course!
 

     This is us, we are just browsing at a store to see what screams "buy us" as we wait until dinner time!

     As with the many labels in our lives right now I think this is the one most often we neglect. Not saying we need to drop everything so we can go out all the time. But it should be on occasion we can leave our kids and spend a little time with other women. To simply enjoy the fact that we are women, pamper yourself every so often because you deserve it! We do not even go get pedicures often (this was the second time in my life!), our favorite place to go to is Half Price Books! It can be inexpensive, watch a chick-flick or go window shopping somewhere the men in your life would not likely go with you.

Name: Jamie
Occupation: Mom
Marital Status: Married
Gender: Female (duh)

This section is called 'The Wife of Noble Character' Proverbs (all NIV) 31: 10-31. I'm going to highlight a few of my favorite verses that speak out to me.

v. 10-12 'A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.'

v. 15 'She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.'

v.17 'She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her task.'

v. 26 'She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.'

v.28 'Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.'

v.30 'Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.'

Identity Part 2: Marital Status

     In this season of my life I feel like I have so many titles over my head, like; mom, wife, woman, homeschooler, cook, maid, chauffeur etc. ... I almost feel lost in the web of titles and their responsibilities. Anyone else out there feel caught in the same web?! I don't want to lose the love and the person I am, because I am trying to fulfill all these titles. I want to enjoy life's little moments and at the end of the day still have some sanity left!
     Today's topic is about the title of being someone's spouse, a wife in my case. Might I add, thank the Lord I am not raising these 4 boys on my own (single moms ROCK!)! Thank you Lord for bringing me a companion. I could go on and on, but lets stop and reflect on this passage before we continue. It is one of my favorite.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV)
'There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time to for war and a time for peace.'

     To give you some personal history, my husband (Travis) and I got married on our 3 year anniversary and have been married now for a little over 9 years. This passage doesn't just speak about marriage but it certainly can apply. Speaking of seasons, I think marriage in its own has a few.

Season 1: Puppy Love (as my granny would call it)
     Almost a love but more based on physical chemistry and impressions. You know when you would spontaneously buy them gifts, for no reason other than you loved them. Write love letters and stare endlessly into each others eyes.

Season 2: In Love
     Oh newly weds, aren't they refreshing to see. Still learning each others little quirks. Like how OCD your wife is about cleaning (especially bathrooms) or how your husband leaves his clothes where ever he changes (side of bed, bathroom floor, closet but puts them in wrong laundry basket...). Yet there is still that spark of fire. Holding hands, date nights or other romantic gestures.

Season 3: Real Love
     And there is the love that multiplies... well for us it did! This is the season we are in now. I still remember those date nights, but now they are few and far in-between. Our usual date night now consist of the kids being in bed, watching a movie, and making some late night snack. The love letters have turned into honey to-do list. And there are several little hands in-between ours. Yes, it's busy and crazy but we know this is only for a season.

     These seasons have no set time frame in which they occur. For some it could be but a few short months and others could be years. And yes there are seasons of pain or distance, but these too are just a season and shall pass. So what's the next season of marriage ... Managing Teen Boys, Empty Nest, or something with Adventure in the title??? Honestly I do not know, but I anxiously await.

Name: Jamie 
Occupation: Mom
Marital Status: Married


 

Identity Part 1: Occupation

  
     I am always baffled when the question of my occupation comes up. It usually results in unemployed or none. Does anybody else get the 'you don't have a job' vibe from people?!? Obviously I get the unemployed status for paper work situations. It is the family, friends, and strangers that seem to give off this vibe.
     My four boys go nearly everywhere I do, so I suspect most people don't think I do nothing all day. Some reason, they are young so it is good I am able to stay home with them. Yet for other people I think their opinions either fall into two margins; 'don't you get bored' or 'that's it'?
     No, I am not bored nor do I get bored. Lest just say all I did was tend to the kids; feed them, care for them and love them. How could anyone get bored? Even if I had just one child to devote all my attention to, at the end of the day I would still lay my head down feeling exhausted. Lets ponder on this one, I want you to get a visual. Because for those who think that clearly do not know or forgot somehow. Wake up to baby crying, well it's time to nurse him. Then, change his diaper and you might as well put a load of his clothes in the washer. Next, if your lucky start a pot of coffee without him needing your immediate attention. Okay maybe you calmed him down enough to quickly wash your face and change clothes. Now, lets get that little bundle of joy dressed. Wrestling with him as you put on his socks because he has learned how to roll over and starting to crawl. Alright you are both dressed, now lets try feeding him some of his baby cereal. That was a mess, now wipe his hands and face off, his tray, and the table. If you have little dogs you might escape from having to sweep up the mess on the floor. Change his diaper again (eww this one will probably the stinky loaded diaper kind). Put clothes into dryer. Get him in his car seat and run off to doctors for his check-up. You're home now so you make a quick sandwich, eating it with one hand while nursing baby. Phew, nap time has come! Oh but only for baby because now you need to fold his clothes, maybe take a quick shower or prepare for dinner. So you get my point, this is just a glimpse of a half day with one young child. Bored ... Ha I laugh, with sarcasm.
     And to the later mind set of 'that's it,' NO! Personally I am homeschooling them and trying to start a small business with friend. Neither of which is easy be all means. Imaging doing all your errands, wifely and motherly duties, and trying to give your kids an education. No it's not just a phase, it is a way of life we have chosen for our family. Not to mention, any SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) I know has something on the back burner while managing things at home. Either it be serving in the church or some other community group, writing, self employment, part time job etc.
     The list of my day to day or week to week routine is daunting. Maybe I'll share it, but that is for another post! Right now I'll just randomly list some of my task outside of 'just staying at home': a lot of home-cooked meals, cleaning house and four munchkins, budget and pay bills, shopping for groceries and anything else for the household, doctor appointments, sport practices and games, church activities as well as serve in some, bible study, go to fitness classes, some yard work, lesson plans, grade papers etc. ...
     I know many great moms with jobs that fulfill their career desire, or at least pursuing it. They too manage errands, caring for kids, and all the other tedious chores around the house. Remember this is about me, selfish I know (lol). Really it is for all stay at home moms. Homeschooling or not, temporarily or permanent. When the word 'career' or 'occupation' come up don't let it fester inside you like a thorn. Because you know, your career right now is raising your child(ren). I think it is called PARENTING. The most important job you will have. So savor your time with them, build everlasting relationships, and direct them to the one who knows all, God, so they might inherit your morals and beliefs. To some it will always be peculiar why we decided to leave behind any career we might have had to just stay at home. But to us we will know it is the career we where called for.

Name: Jamie
Occupation: Mom

Today I leave you with this verse from Psalm 51:10 (NIV) 'Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.'

When I think of the fleeting task ahead of me while I 'just staying at home' and tend to my children I ask God to renew my spirit for whatever is to come.  

Taco Soup ... or Stew

Taco Soup

 

 

     Well it's getting cold out again ... here is one of our all time favorite crock-pot meals!

Ingredients:

24 oz can of beans, whatever is your favorite (I like Bush's)
24 oz can of tomato sauce
14.5 oz can of diced tomatoes (can put rotel if you want it spicy)
14.5 oz can of whole kernel corn
1/2 pk of taco seasoning
1/2 pk of ranch dressing seasoning
1 lb ground beef
4-6 corn tortillas

Directions:

In medium fry pan cook ground beef, drain, and add to crock-pot. Add all other ingredients to crock-pot, even juice from can of corn. Stir well and cook low for 6 hrs or high for 3 hours. Ten minutes before you are ready to serve, shred the tortillas and add them to crock-pot. 

DONE! So nice to have a warm meal with little work.

Some of our favorite toppings are cheese, crackers, and sour cream.

How Our Homeschool Journey Began

     December is a even more chaotic time for our family than normal, so sorry it has been so long since last post. We are just now getting back into a good routine. Routine, you may ask what that might look like with four little monkeys, but I will disclose that detail in another post.

     My husband and I were both in public schools growing up, so this thought of homeschooling did not just appeal to us at first. Sure there were some negative aspects about public school system, but we really thought, "Oh well, what can you do," or "that's just the way it is." I won't go into discussing all those little details, because honestly its not important and every system has their flaw. But I will share the main points in our decision making process.
     About the summer before my oldest son was suppose to be starting pre-k homeschooling was brought up in a marriage conference DVD study we were going through. We made a list of what we thought were the pro's and con's. The bottom line was how could we financially live on one income?!? So we went on a search for a nearby preschool. I knew in Texas headstart was a financially based program. Meaning you had to make under a certain amount to qualify or have some other special requirements to even apply, unless you planned on sending them to a private school which would be a good chunk of change. For some reason I just assumed the public schools that offered pre-k was free, WRONG! I was told by several schools unless your family makes 30,000 or less, a parent in the military, or had another language besides English as their primary language we did not qualify. Now this might be different where you live, but I did my research and this was the case where we lived. Then our thought was to see how expensive would it be for private pre-k, and surprisingly not too bad. But in combination of the day care cost would just not be attainable for us at that time. Plus our day care notified us that any private pre-k in town would be too far for them to pick up our child, and so we would have to make other arrangements for dropping them off after pre-k to the day care. Which again was a problem. There are some day cares that have pre-k, but our day care was in the process of being certified. And that would mean trying to find another day care that was certified to teach pre-k, affordable for us (we also had a child under one at that time), and had room for both children in age appropriate classes. Needless to say we were shocked, overwhelmed, and just down right frustrated!
     We made the decision to just keep him in the current day care, which he loved and was teaching basic skills for pre-k anyways, and to do as much pre-k work at home as we could. It was difficult to say the least. Both of us were working full time jobs, we had two children (4 and almost 1), maintaining the typically parent duties (house chores, meals, normal care for kids, and just spending time with them), they were at day care all day, and then trying to find time and energy to teach him things so he would be ready for kindergarten. Now I've always wanted a third child, and our youngest was reaching 18 mon. and I was having baby fever! I had a job that offered pretty good health insurance, and the thought came to me: what if I have our third child while I have health insurance then when he is born I can just stay home and homeschool Josh for kindergarten. Logically thinking of the expenses of gas commuting to work and extra cost for a third child in day care was not worth me still working. And naturally thought well if I'm staying home I might as well give homeschooling a shot. I wasn't sure if homeschooling was right for us, or if I was even qualified to teach him, but I reasoned that if I was genuinely going to give it a shot kindergarten was the best year to start.
     Some of our major con's for homeschooling were: incorporating our religion into curriculum, we could select the social out-lets our kids would be involved in (such as community sports and church events), and I was going to be able to build a lasting bond with my kids (to truly know them and to base school off their needs and desires not just a general study or something that might pertain to some kids and not all)! I've always dreamed of staying home with my kids until they started school. I did end up working until the end of my third pregnancy, but God was about to bless me more than I ever imagined. I was starting to dread my work days., being gone from my kids all day. When I got home it was dinner, bath, bed and if we were lucky we got in a little play time between bath and bed. I thought, was this really what parenthood was all about? On the other spectrum, just as long as I have been dreaming about being a mom I also had a dream of being a nurse. I loved helping people. But it came to me as my children will only be this age once, and then its gone. What will I do when I have no children under foot. So I reasoned that would be my time to pursue a career and now was the time to devote my energy and time into my children.  
     Cost now with adding a third child was not an issue, public school systems were starting to seem like the wrong answer, and socialization never seemed to be a problem. The desire to grow close relationships with my kids and to give them a strong foundation in faith seemed far more superior in priority. Now that third child is 2 1/2 years old, and I can say it has not been all sunshine and roses. Sometimes a rain of tears and storms with frustration seem more fitting. Homeschooling to us really has been a life style change. A-learning-curve, and in fact I'm still learning. Trying to find that groove on the bumpy path of life, but I have NO REGRETS! With a supportive husband and four smiling faces looking at me everyday I gear up for the daily challenges.

A promise from God I hold dear to my heart.
Proverbs 22:6 NIV
'Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.' 

Chocolate and White Chocolate Chip Cookies

Chocolate and White Chocolate Chip Cookies
(makes about 5 dozen)

Ingredients:
2 1/4 c flour
3/4 c light brown sugar
3/4 c sugar
1 c butter (softened)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 pkg (12 oz) of semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 pkg (12 oz) of white chocolate chips

Directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Combine flour, baking soda, and salt into bowl and set aside. In large bowl add vanilla extract, sugar, brown sugar, and softened butter, mix with blender. Add eggs one at a time blending after each egg. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in chips.

Place about a tbsp full of batter unto cookie sheet, bake 9-11 minutes.

Tips:
I have found the more expensive butter works better when baking desserts.
Also first batch I usually do for 10 min. then decrease a min. for others. 
Recently I moved and new oven seems to cook different. So I now chill batter (before adding chips) in fridge for about 30 min. Then continue with the directions.
The dark brown cookie sheets help the cookies have a golden look.

A big thank you to my sis, Teresa, for sharing this recipe it is my all time favorite cookie!!!!

Next post will be, "How Our Homeschool Journey Began."
 

MANnerisms and Other Ways We are Raising Our Boys to be Men

 
  Now of course we encourage the common; please, thank you, no ma'am, and yes ma'am, but these manners are ones that speak primarily to boys that embolden them to be men.
     You may be asking yourself what qualities am I speaking of when I say men. The qualities I want my boys to have are to be leaders of their home, rooted in faith, responsible, loving, respectable, a hard worker, and one who knows how to be a servant.

* Have a Nice Fall, See You Next Year!- I will often clap and say, "nice one," when one of my kids fall. Of course if there is blood or looks serious I will treat it as so. The point is not to cause a scene when no foul has been done. Giving them a taste of physical toughness.

* Boys Don't Cry- First off that's a total myth. We like to say, "is this worth crying over?" If two of the boys are playing and crash heads, resulting in one of them getting a busted lip there might be reason for a few tears. But if they are crying because someone isn't sharing or they didn't get their way, that's what we consider not worth crying about. The goal is to help develop appropriate responses to their emotions.

* Golden Rule- 'So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.' Matthew 7:12 NIV
And another saying that goes hand in hand with this is 'two wrongs don't make a right.' I'm sure you've "never" heard of these, but they are ever so prevalent. I'm feel like a broken record repeating these sayings to my boys. Our aim is to have our boys be a positive influence on this world.

* Shortcomings- 'You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speak from your brother's eye.' Matthew 7:5 NIV
Kids learn best from our examples, rather then us telling them the correct way. As a parent, I can't express the importance enough to tell your kids you are sorry when you do something wrong. Don't get me wrong I know all too well how hard it is to break down that 'I'm the parent' complexion when trying to admit your wrong to them. When you do, you are showing them its ok to be wrong, but more importantly how to ask for forgiveness. Sometimes I like to emphasize the intention, but other times I am just flat out wrong.

*Forgiveness- 'For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.' Matthew 6:14,15 NIV
I believe, one of the biggest burdens many adults have from their childhood in-regards to grudges is not to be able to forgive and move on. It's by no means easy. In a way to hopefully make it slightly better on the next generation we need to ensure they learn how to ask for forgiveness and how to forgive a lot. My boys seem too often in quarrels and once it's settled they always have to ask for forgiveness. If I feel they are not sincerely forgiving I will make them hug to get a good laugh out of them.

*Accidents Happen- When those unintentional uh-ohs happen they need to be quick to make sure the one who got hurt is ok.  Show concern, try to resolve the problem on their own. The younger one still tends to come back to me to shed a few tears before moving on, but the older two are catching on to this concept. Even when they spill something(especially on my fleshly mopped floor) we try not to get angry, but emphasize for them not to panic and think quickly how to resolve the problem (like grabbing a towel!). Notice I said 'try' not to get angry, we are still working on reactions!

*No 'I' in Team- This seems particularly hard for boys. Not every team wins, nor do you win every game. We always make sure to say how proud we are of their performance. The oldest two have been playing competitive sports for a couple of years now. We also stress the importance of playing their best.  Sometimes they get on teams that wins a lot, and sometimes you can tell the team is all pretty new and struggles. As well as no one likes a show boat. Teams in essences work together. Do your best and be proud of your team for their effort, win or lose. And if you're going to be a sore loser don't play at all. This is really hard for my oldest, mainly because he has such high expectations for himself. This will take time and repetitive correction. The reward is guiding your young son to learn how to work cooperatively, positively and how to be an encourager to others.

*Servant Heart- Again this one is best illustrated through example. So how are you serving? Right now we are serving in our Church as AWANA Leaders. The program is great, teaches directly from the bible, and our kids love it. Have you noticed kids out of high school getting less and less interested in church. I have to make some correlation between the constantly being fed (spiritually) youth to the 'what do we do now' young adults. I believe that gap is the passion to serve others rather than themselves. I hope when my boys are out of that program they seek areas where they can return some of the effort others have given them. For many years we have participated in the Operation Christmas Child. Its a great way to reach a world where they receive so little, and around this time of the year it is a great way to get your kids involved. Also this year for one of our kids gifts for Christmas they will pick an animal to give to a third world country.

     I could probably go on and on, but these seem pertinent for us lately. The book of Matthew is really great study with your kids on how to resolve conflicts and how Christians are suppose to act. I'll be the first to admit my boys do not have these concepts down pat, but we are striving ...

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/

 http://awana.org/on/demandware.store/Sites-Awana-Site/default/Default-Start?gclid=CJDBxaKVhrsCFWRk7AodXFAAQQ

Next post will be another great recipe!