This post has to do with how my control issues spilled into homeschooling and what I've learned from them, so far.
When it came time to prepare for our first year of homeschooling I approached it with a public school mentality. From when we started and ended, what days we had off, subjects we studied and even the lesson plans. Our day was jam packed and we had little room for adjustments. I wanted to finish all the curriculum, finish all the lesson plans for each day, and I had a huge list of things I expected my child to learn that year. Since this was my first year staying home I know we bound more than ever, but I could tell he was not liking school work. And that is how he looked at it, work. Not like a learning adventure as I imagined. Which was just as equally frustrating to me. Now if you are thinking well my kids love vigorously working all school year, then that is fine if it works for your family. I knew I needed some routine, outline of lesson plans, and discipline in school structure but I wanted to stay true to some of the reasons why we started homeschooling. Through staying at home and homeschooling I was looking forward to building a strong relationship with them (so it needs to be enjoyable to them and me), giving them an education tailored to their needs and desires (my oldest struggles to read and my second child is really hyper and has a short attention span), and having more time with family each day verses what time is left before and after a regular public school day. So here is what I have learned to adjust in our homeschool.
1.) Each week block out time for any work that needs to be caught up on. I estimate more time than needed to finish the subject and curriculum. Allowing time for unexpected things in our life not to throw us off schedule. I also only make lesson plans for 6 weeks at a time. Which gives me a chance to edit anything before making the next 6 weeks of lesson plans. That block once a week really helps out when he is just ready to throw in the towel on something. I can tell him its okay lets take a break from this and come back tomorrow with a fresh approach.
2.) Make lessons plans more of a point-of-reference than a set of must-complete list. For instance; in the Readiness Preschool Book I figured out to finish in a school year we would need to do about 10 pages a week. On my lesson plans I have a set block for that subject daily. Outside of that block for the week I'll put, 'do pages 1-10'. Now some days he might do 2 pages and some days he might do 5 pages. As long as he does the 10 pages a week I know we will stay on track. Therefore, in each block I just have to write what pages he did that day.
3.) Homeschool year-round. This school year I made plans to basically follow the public school days. But somewhere in the middle of this school year we have pretty much adapted to a year-round schedule. Something with being stuck inside long hours during the winter and kids begging to go outside more in spring. This summer my oldest will finish up his math and penmanship book, my second child will lightly work on math, and with all the kids we really focus on reading just for fun! So next school year we will start first of August, take more breaks through-out year, longer school days in winter, shorter days in fall and spring, and end in May.
4.) Find curriculum that works for your kids. Again, first year of homeschooling I did an all-in-one curriculum set. Which there were some things I liked, but definitely felt it wasn't the best. Especially looking at the over-all cost. I really could have done without all the teachers manuals for kindergarten. I wanted my science and history to be more faith based and more interesting for my child. Best thing I did was to go to a homeschool book fair. There I could really look through curriculum without having to purchase it first. I also asked everyone whom I encountered that homeschooled what curriculum they used and what were the pros and cons. In another post I'll give you my full list of curriculum for next year.
5.) Socialization. I often say, "Homeschoolers are socialized, we just choose where and who our children socialize with." We do sports through out the year, and participate in a lot of functions for the children in our church. Where my control issue became a set back was when I did not allow unplanned socialization just happen. I was so set on finishing all the lessons for the day that I often turned down invites from friends wanting to set up a play date. Lets face it sometimes our kids need play time outside of the home and with other kids. And even more honestly, I need them to get out of "our home setting" and just play. I have found that those play dates makes my kids and my day a little better. Which leads me to the next thing.
6.) Flexibility. Once again, I was wanting to contain the hours in-which we homeschooled to the hours in the traditional public school 8am-3pm time frame. Yes I can set my alarm clock to wake up before the kids, get their breakfast ready and school work laid out so we can start school on time. Then again, I have found kids function better when they wake up on their own (typically 7:30-8:30), and I can get a cup of coffee down and start on some house chores while they finish breakfast. Yes most adults have a 8-4 or 9-5 job, but I just think most of their lives they will have to set their alarm clock why do it now if they don't have to. While my oldest works independently on some subjects, I manage to spend more one-on-one time with the middle two in school during the day. Then at night when the other children are off to bed I have uninterrupted time to work on reading with my oldest. My husband and I both struggled early on in our childhood with reading, as well as our oldest. So we know it takes patience and practice (for both us and our son) when it comes to working on reading. Letting go of that public school schedule allowed us to get out of that reading slump, and we are now heading up the hill.
Proverbs 29:11(NIV) 'A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.'
Now instead of anger in that verse you can replace it with any emotion that drives your actions when you feel out of control. When life is thrown at you or when a child is just being particularity disobedient that day, ask God to help you keep your emotions under control.
